morning update

First of all, I got this in my email this morning from someone that I don't even know. and while it was written for a child with Downs Syndrome, I think it definitely applies to anyone with a child in a NICU long term, as it' s certainly easy to overlook the good and only see the bad....It made me cry (duh).

Welcome To Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Anyway...I just had to share because it struck me as so true this morning. Jay is at the hospital and has been for awhile. He called and said that Riley looks and acts better. He's still jaundiced, although we thought yesterday that he was a bit less yellow looking. At least the whites of his eyes. They say this is a different jaundice from when babies are first born and you put them under the special lights or in front of a window at home. This is a sort of chemical jaundice from the IV nutrition. The IV nutrition is hard on a body's organ systems. They don't get to function like they would if the body was eating. Especially the liver. So the jaundice is one result of that. Hopefully, he'll be able to begin eating again soon and the liver will do what it's supposed to do and it will improve. His blood work was better this morning, lower white blood cells, and platelets even higher and the bands were lower as well. So if he did have an infection, the antibiotic seems to be handling it as the bloodwork shows his body is no longer ramping up to deal with it. All good news.

And....he has BOWEL SOUNDS again. That is always a relief to hear at EVERY assessment due to his history and the unknown of what is to come....so for them to assess him and say no bowel sounds....ugh. But they are back. Hooray.

Ummm, I think I'm forgetting something but that is all the important stuff right there. Make sure you see post below with video! it's super cute if I do say so myself.